I missed out. Apparently if I had moved in to this complex three months later I would have had the apartment above my current one. If that had happened I would have been able to train for American Gladiator.

See, every family, yes, family, that has moved in upstairs had shown the same characteristics. From these repetitive actions I can conjecture a few important things.

First of all, there is a track that runs from the room directly above mine, to the living room, kitchen and back.

Second, there is a bed of hot coals in the dining room area, which requires participants to jump up and down continuously.

Third, the apartment comes with a personal trainer that wakes the children upstairs at the most ungodly hours to begin their training. The start with intensive jumping jacks above where my bed is located and progress to the track, where laps are mandatory from dawn to dusk. Training continues throughout the day. Sometimes even until late hours.

I never get the good apartment.

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